


Don’t hurt my feelings but I like pain

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:34:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26405809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hinata starts to confuse the pleasurable feeling of pain with the feelings he has for the blue eyed boy.. (deleting soon) I GAVE UP LMAO BYE
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Don’t hurt my feelings but I like pain

**Author's Note:**

> I GAVE UP THIS IS EW

Hinata felt disgusted with himself. Utterly ashamed and disgusted.

The first time he found out that he liked the feeling of pain was his first receive using his face. The ball knocked him back a bit, bouncing off his face to roll onto the ground. The whole Karasuno team looked at him in shock, moving to see if the orange haired boy was ok. Hinata only smiled, tears swelling up in his eyes from the sting but besides that, he smiled. To his teammates, that was a sign that he was okay, but for him it was a new book beginning to open in his mind. It stung and his nose was pounding in pain but he didn’t mind it at all. The feeling was kinda addicting and it made his stomach churn. He actually liked it. The throb of his nose, the tears rolling down his face from the sting and small pound in his head. It had shaken him up in a way he didn’t know how to describe.

It was fine until he felt a warm trickle down his right nostril, the floor being painted with cherry red blood, droplet by droplet.

“Oi, dumbass!” Kageyama snapped him out of his trance. “You’re fucking bleeding, go clean that shit up quick so we can continue the game!”

Hinata’s face flushed red, and not from the hit. It was from the pleasure he had felt. He nodded as if in a trance, quickly snapping out of it to use his shirt to stop the blood from dripping more.

These accidents happened a lot after this, the ball coming to his face I mean. Hinata never did it on purpose but he didn’t mind it at all. One time the ball knocked him back so hard he fell on his back, the ball going up into the air high as his teammates thanked him for the attempted receive and keeping the ball in play. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stay on the ground to relish in the feeling a little longer, quickly getting up to set up for his and Kageyama’s quick attack. Throughout the rest of the game he was half hard.. he felt embarrassed. He had began to become paranoid, constantly trying to pull his shirt down a little throughout the whole game. When his teammates asked if he was ok he would only give them a quick and rushed yes before setting up for the next play. They had looked at him worriedly before focusing back in on the game.

After that game, he was the last one to come out of the boys washroom after taking care of himself. He shivered in disgust at himself after that.

The next time it happened, Kageyama and Hinata had got into a huge fight. Hinata was trying to improve so he could prove himself useful as a player of his own without Kageyama. He wanted to evolve from the same old quick attack, to expand his horizons to get better as a player but Kageyama seemed to be holding him back he felt like. Kageyama wanted to stick to the same quick, in fear of not being able to perfect a new one in time before there next match. Kageyama had subconsciously held him back in a way, not on purpose. He didn’t want to be left behind and alone by one of his first true and only friends. Hinata wouldn’t need him anymore if he could hit a toss from any setter. Hinata had felt like Kageyama wouldn’t need him anymore either if he could toss to anyone that would help them win, like he’s said once before. Both of them had permanent scowls on their faces that night, yelling back and forward at each other before it had gotten physical.

Yachi stared in horror, standing at the entrance of the gym as she watched in deep concern. When Kageyama grabbed the collar of Hinata’s shirt, she had began to run out the gym to get help.

Hinata felt himself jerk forward as Kageyama brought his face close, hands squeezing the collar of his shirt tight. Hinata grabbed onto the wrist of the hand that help him by the collar of his shirt. “I want to be strong enough to compete by myself!” He yelled back at Kageyama, feeling yama’s skin burn under his hand. “Your selfishness is going to destroy the team’s balance!” Kageyama jerked Hinata back then forward to forcefully throw the smaller boy to the ground. Hinata had went down, landing on his back with a bang. A wave of pain shot up his back as he landed harshly, a small help escaping his lips. The sting hurt like hell. He could feel the tears well up in his eyes from it but also emotionally. His face flushed red at the pain of his fall that ran up his back and bottom. He didn’t have time to cry right now, too turned on and mad. Kageyama noticed the transparent sheet of water that covered over Hinata’s eyes, feeling a tad bit of guilt before it quickly disappeared as Hinata tackled him, grabbing onto his jaw and pushing him back. They exchanged more words before a punch came flying both of their way, knocking them back and away from each other. It was over for Hinata. He was glad the white shirt he wore went slightly past his hips and over his now hardening crotch. He wanted to cry and punch himself for feeling like this. Especially at liking the feeling of how Kageyama handled him roughly, their noses almost touching that time. He was upset with himself.. he shouldn’t feel that way towards a teammate no matter how much he likes pain. Tanaka has punched them but it wasn’t the same spark he felt when Kageyama invaded his personal space, delivering pleasurable pain to Hinata’s back. That night he had walked Yachi to her bus stop, getting onto his bike and riding home. Tears dripped from his eyes as the only thing that went through his mind was how disgusting he was. And how much of an asshole Kageyama was to make him realize his tiny crush on the taller boy. Hinata had began to ignore Kageyama and Kageyama did the same. Both of them did for completely different reasons though. Hinata avoided Kageyama because of guilt and the small feelings he had for the boy over something stupid. He had also decided to improve himself, going to former coach Ukai for help everyday after school. Kageyama ignored the boy from guilt of being so controlling and not realizing that he was reverting to his old ways. It took a whole lecture from Oikawa to realize this.. he decided that he wanted to improve for himself and Hinata’s sake so Hinata could hit tosses that he would love. It felt weird not having the ball of sunshine bother him everyday or stick by him like glue like always. He figured that it wasn’t going to last long and that they would make up like they always have. They had managed to complete a quick attack after a long while. The whole team looked at them like they grew two heads before grinning happily and yelling out their glees. Even Kageyama had turned to look at Hinata in surprise, hinata already looking back at him. Kageyama smiled at Hinata, Hinata doing the same as they boy celebrated before Kageyama got seriously and barked something at him. Hinata didn’t know what he said. He was only happy that things weren’t as awkward as before and that he had managed to get rid of those tiny feelings for the taller boy the time they were ignoring each other. He thought. This was until they were at a training camp at Nekoma again. The boys were laying down on the futons, getting ready for some rest after a hellish day of back to back practice matches and running up and down the same familiar hill they ran up last time they were here. They didn’t lose as many games this time, getting little breaks from the tedious flying drills and sprints. Hinata and Kageyama had raced back to the room after washing up since they were the last ones to wash up because of practicing after practicing. They had went back to their old ways, racing to brush their teeth to rushing to sleep first. Tonight, as the lights turned off and the boys snores filled the air, Hinata couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned, squeezing his eyes shut and thinking about any and everything.

He just decided to clear his mind of everything. 

It had took an odd turn, drifting to the thought of Kageyama. Specifically his hands. Those nimble and controlling fingers that sent tosses his way. That grabbed at the net and at Hinata. He had some pretty nice hands.. he liked the way they grabbed at his scalp whenever Kageyama was mad or lecturing him. Hinata used to dodge all of his attacks but recently, he’s been gladly accepting them, subconsciously loving the feeling of his fingers grabbing at him, even if it hurt. The sting at his scalp felt good along with the harsh grabs at his arms and other body parts. It was because of the pain. Hinata had wanted to stop thinking about it before it caused him emotional pain and resurface the feelings he had for the blue eyed boy, but it seemed to be the only thing that lulled him into a blissful sleep.

His dream, however, was a different story.

Kageyama had him pressed against a wall, a mad scowl set on his face. His hand had been cupping Hinata’s cheeks harshly, making the boy keep eye contact with him. His right leg was pressed between Hinata’s legs hotly. It seemed like he didn’t mind the hard on that was evidently felt on his thigh, digging his leg up against him more, making the smaller boy whimper. His hand moved slowly down his cheeks, brushing across his neck before harshly squeezing a little, making the smaller boy wheeze in surprise and pain. Pleasurable and satisfying pain. The kind that he was addicted to.

Before the dream could go any further Hinata woke up, harshly throwing himself forward to sit up. Sweat dripped down his temple, an uncomfortable wetness present in his shorts. He had began to cry. Was there something wrong with him? He had gotten up quietly, stepping over the limp limbs of his teammates, accidentally touching Tanaka’s pinky with his foot. The older boy grumbled something like ‘kiyoko please ignore me again’ before turning on his stomach to hug his pillow lovingly. This made a small smile appear on Hinata’s face before he continued to leave the room, not noticing the blue eyed boy slowly waking, blinking away his sleep as he felt movement that appeared then disappeared. The last thing Kageyama saw was the door closing, a tiny gleam of light through the crack of it quickly disappearing as it closed. — Hinata had sat on the closed toilet seat, his hands scrunched in his lap as he slowly waited for his hard on to go down. If he touched it, he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to be in the same room as Kageyama. He could do with ignoring him for now though. Tears continued to drip down his freckles cheeks slowly. He bit his bottom lip in attempt to now cry out. He sniffled loudly, choking on his spit as he heard the bathroom door open. What the fuck was anyone else doing in the bathroom at the ass crack of 4 am. Probably to use the bathroom stupid.’ Hinata thought to himself, keeping himself as quiet as possible.

That didn’t last long, a yelp coming from his lips loudly as someone banged directly on his stall. He couldn’t tell whose slippers those were. They were all wearing the same ones anyways.

“I-I’ll be out in a minute..” Hinata spoke, hoping the crying in his voice wasn’t noticed. He pretended to flush the toilet, standing up and unlocking the stall, only to be pushed back into it harshly. He looked up at his attacker, his eyes widening as he looked everywhere else but him.

“Look at me dumbass.” Kageyama demanded, staring at the boy suspiciously. “You’ve been acting weird on and off all camp. What the fuck is your problem?” Hinata didn’t answer looking at his feet.

“Nothings wrong so let me leave. I need to go back to sleep.”

“You weren’t even sleep idiot.” Kageyama huffed out.

“How-“

“How could anyone sleep when you were twisting and tossing around all night like a maniac. I was laying down next to you and you had suddenly got up like a fucking mad man trying to leave the room.” Kageyama said with a scowl on his face.

“Why have you been acting weird?” Kageyama asked again. Hinata sighed, wishing the taller boy would just leave him and his feelings alone. He just wanted to rest and think about nothing but volleyball. And probably talk with Kenma for a bit.

“Leave me alone, why do you even care anyway?” Hinata said in a mean tone, rolling his eyes at Kageyama. Kageyama didn’t seem to like that one bit, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and anger. Why the fuck was Hinata having a fucking pity party in the bathroom and why had he been acting weird. He feels like he would never understand the sudden changes of the boy. Kageyama grabbed the orange tuff of hair that covered the smaller boys forehead, tugging it up so Hinata would be forced to look at him for the first time tonight. Hinata’s face flushed red, a small whimper coming from his lips as he bit his bottom lip. Kageyama only stayed silent, not releasing the grip he had on his hair but pulling on it harder. “Y-you like that dumbass?” He asked curiously seeing the way Hinata’s breath fastened. “Do you?” Hinata was tired. He sighed, slowly shaking his head as a yes. He face couldn’t get anymore redder than that as he yanked Kageyama’s grip away from his hair. He shoved the taller boy, who was stunned with wide eyes before dashing out of the bathroom, quickly washing his hands. For a while Hinata had been ignoring Kageyama, Kageyama never stopped trying to bother him to talk. All the boys could do was watch at the desperate attempts of Kageyama trying to talk to Hinata, only for the orange haired boy to turn away to quickly run out the gym or away from him. Kageyama was beyond pissed and because of this, all of the boys knew not to fuck with him, even tsukishima and his snarky comments. He had this dark aura around him now, as if always sulking and mad over nothing. Today, the boys decided that they were going to help the duo. To get rid of the awkward atmosphere and to get there ball of sunshine back. And to not be scared to talk to Kageyama about his tosses and if they needed them higher or lower. “Alright guys, here’s the plan.” Tanaka spoke to the group of boys that gathered around him after practice. It was nishinoya, asahi, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tskukishima, and even suga. They decided to leave Daichi out of this, knowing he wouldn’t approve of this type of plan. But it was the only way. “I don’t know about this guys..” Asahi said with a worried smile, scratching his chin nervously before he spoke again. “Shouldn’t we let them solve this themselves?” “Yeah, look how far they’ve come now. They will definitely just talk to each other out of nowhere and make up.” Nishinoya said sarcastically, rolling his eyes before jabbing their ace in the side. “We have to do this, not only as teammates, but as their friends too. They’ll thank us later, don’t worry.” The plan did seem kinda.. wrong? It had the right intention but wrong delivery. “We follow through with it today after practice okay? Remember, nishinoya you ask Daichi for the keys to lock up the club room. Asahi make sure to grab everyone’s things out of the club room just in case Hinata tries to leave early again. Suga, just talk to Daichi and keep him occupied after practice and make sure he leaves campus. Tsukishima, you and Yama stay after practice and while the plan is in operation just in case a fight breaks out like last time.” Tanaka spoke fast. “I’ll be observing them and with Yama and Dino boy. Got it guys?” Tanaka spoke, ignoring the scowl from tsukishima. “Ennoshita please be our look out.” He nodded. Everyone nodded their heads. It was either now or never. — Practice had seemed to go smoothly today, suga pointed out to Daichi. “How about we go get some meat buns to eat together after practice?” He offered their captain as the only few in the gym were the first years and Tanaka. It seemed suspicious, Daichi slowly nodding his head. “Great! I’ll go grab out stuff now. Nishinoya is locking up tonight right?” “Yeah.. how’d you know?” Daichi turned to the silver head boy with furrowed eyebrows. Shit.. “He told me that he wanted to work on his receives with Asahi.. haha.” Suga prayed he didn’t look as suspicious as he sounded. Daichi could only nod his head in understanding. Yes. Suga did a silent glee in his head, heading out to meet Asahi with both of their stuff. Luckily they had all changed a little earlier after practice. Way before Hinata and Kageyama. Daichi had subconsciously did the same thing, which they were glad for. But where is noya and Asahi if they wanted to practice?’ Daichi thought. “Thanks Asahi. I’ll be sure he won’t come back.” Suga said with a smile, giving the taller boy a thumbs up. “Alright, I’ll be heading out now. I need to go home and help my parents.” Asahi smiled back, grabbing his things from the pile he brought right outside the gym. Daichi walked out, Asahi quickly laying over the pile of backpacks, as if he was stretching out. Daichi looked at him weirdly before turning to Suga. “Shall we go?” Suga asked, giving Daichi his bags and Asahi a funny look. Couldn’t he have put the bags somewhere a little more hidden? “Yeah.. sure.” Suga and Daichi had made it past the iron gates of school, officially setting foot off campus. Ennoshita grabbed his phone, making a call to Tanaka to let him know that Suga was successful. “Nice!” Tanaka yelled through the phone. Now was his turn to act. He needed to speak to the duo. He walked into the gym from his hiding place, seeing that Yama and tsuki left like they should’ve. “Hey! Freak duo! It’s time to go. Everyone else grabbed their things and we are trying to lock up early tonight.” Hinata had sat down the volleyball in his hands, going to reach for his water bottle as he mumbled an okay, Kageyama doing the same. They had both seemed to be working on their game but separately. Tanaka quickly turned around, and sprinted out the gym to his hiding spot, calling Nishinoya, only to get a call from Ennoshita. “I-it’s no good! Both of them are heading back but Suga seems to be slowing him down a bit!” Ennoshita cried out quietly. Tanaka could feel himself sweating. If they were to get in trouble he would take the blame like a woman. He aspired to be strong like his Kiyoko. “I believe in Suga. This plan is going to work so just continue to watch them ok? If this all goes down the drain I’ll take the blame..” he spoke in the phone with a serious voice. “No. I will.” Ennoshita said with the most seriousness and sternness Tanaka has ever heard. “I’m going to be team captain when they leave. Please let me take the responsibility as first step. I wasn’t strong enough to stop you guys from doing this but I’ll be strong enough to take the blame and everything that has to come with it.” Tanaka wanted to cry. He dramatically cried out a thank you, hanging up the phone. He was proud of his future captain and already gave him his blessing. He was a brave soldier. Now to call nishinoya.. — “Something doesn’t feel right... leaving before everyone else..“ Daichi said, turning around to walk back to the gates. “Everything is fine!” Suga said quickly, stepping in front of the boy in a rush. They were still pretty close to campus and he couldn’t afford this plan to end as soon as it started. “I have something I need to talk to you about?” He said in a question like tone, making Daichi cross his arms over his chest with a stern look on his face. Suga never lied to him about anything but today he seemed so suspicious. “Tell me right here and right now. Then we can go.” He lied to Suga, wanting to get the truth out of him or whatever he was going to say so they could head back to school to take care of whatever was happening or gonna happen. “I-I-“ Suga looked around frantically, at everything but Daichi. He had to look at the boy to assure him he wasn’t lying. He was a pretty bad liar. “I LIKE YOU!?” He shouted out. The air had quickly turned stale.. —

Kageyama and Hinata had made it to the club room. Yama and tsuki were already in there, pretending to get their things ready to leave.

“We’re heading out, the keys to lock up the club room are on the desk over there.” Tsukishima said. There wasn’t even a desk with keys on it. He and Yama snickered after hearing both of them hum as an okay, making their way out the doors to go and hide behind the building as planned.

As soon as they left and the door closed, nishinoya came from his hiding spot, locking the door immediately after they left. He then went to grab his bag from outside of the gym where Asahi left the bags, tossing the keys to Tanaka with a thumbs up. Ennoshita had called him back, telling him that Suga had successfully turned them back around to leave. Asahi, nishinoya, suga, and Ennoshita now had left the plan. It was all working out as planned. 

Now all they had to do was wait.

—

Hinata cursed silently to himself. How had he not realize that they were the last one practicing after practice, meaning they were gonna be the last ones to leave... he mentally cried, hurriedly pulling off his shirt to change.

“Oi.” Kageyama called out next to him. There lockers were right next to each other.

“W-what..”

“Since were alone are you gonna tell me what’s up with you or not? Isn’t that why you kept running away?” Kageyama said in an oddly calm voice. It was as if it was the calm before the storm.

“I have nothing to talk to you about..”

“DON’T PULL THAT BULLSHIT DUMBASS!” Kageyama yelled, slamming the locker next to the orange head, trapping him between the taller boys arms. “What did I even do to you? Aren’t we friends?” He asked quietly. Hinata had never seen Kageyama this.. vulnerable. His stomach quickly pooled with guilt. Kageyama didn’t deserve this at all and it was unfair to him. Hinata didn’t know that he was the first one Kageyama ever called a friend.

“It’s nothing with you. It’s just a personal problem..” Hinata finally spoke out, looking Kageyama in the eyes for the first time this week. His knees buckled at the intense stare of the blue eyed boy, wanting to just disappear.

“I’m sorry to ask but is it because of.. that thing?” Kageyama asked with a nervous voice and flushed cheeks.

“Yeah.. and something else but that’s about it. Now if you’ll excuse me-“ Kageyama had grabbed his wrist tightly, pulling the boy back.

“What’s the other thing. I won’t have you ignoring me over something so stupid again.” Kageyama said. It wasn’t weird to him?

If Hinata had just said it, Kageyama would most likely ignore him which would be for the best. It would at least smother his feelings for the boy. They wouldn’t need to talk to each other again. Kageyama would be disgusted for sure and creeped out. He just hoped he wouldn’t tell anyone else about this.

Hinata and his dumbass thinking..

“I like you..” he said in a small voice, making the taller boy lean down to hear him better.

“Huh?”

“I said I like you bakageyama.” He said louder, almost shouting it at his face, cheeks flushed and red. This was it. He prepared for the scoff of disgust, a punch at least but nothing came. Only a small laugh.

“And you couldn’t have told me that sooner? You really ignored me because of that..?” Kageyama asked in disbelief, making Hinata confused. Did it really mean nothing to him? Was he reacting over nothing, only for Kageyama to not take him seriously?

He felt a rough tug at his head, a familiar tug, before his lips pressed against soft ones.

He heard something along the lines of “dumbass” before he felt it. Hinata realized he was kissing the taller boy, well. The taller boy was kissing him. He was stunned for a few seconds, not moving his lips with wide eyes. It must’ve looked creepy if he had his eyes wide open so Hinata closed them tightly, moving his lips in a clumsy manner. He had never kissed anyone before. Kageyama’s other hand tricked down to settle on the right side of his waist, gripping it tightly. This was all too sudden for Hinata and his innocent mind. He whimpered at the wet feeling of Kageyama’s tongue brushing across his lips. He pushed his hands up to the taller boys chest, pushing him back slightly. “W-what was that..” Hinata huffed out, looking like an over ripe strawberry. “My feelings for you? You know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you like that?” “No. I thought you hated me..” Hinata looked down, fiddling with his fingers nervously. This was the last outcome he expected to happen. The only thing he could feel was butterflies in his stomach. “Dumbass, I wouldn’t spend everyday by your side and doing everything with you if I did. I would’ve treated you like tsukishima if I hated you idiot. Plus... this is my first time feeling these feelings for someone like this..” Kageyama flushed at his last words, looking away. “Should I stop?” His voice was tiny. Hinata never realized how fragile and soft Kageyama could be. He must’ve felt so hurt the night they fought. “Don’t stop.” Kageyama had connected their lips once again. Hinata let out a little squeak at the feeling of his warm tongue that swept across his lip again. “Open your mouth a little dumbass..” Hinata did as he said, weirder at the feeling of his tongue in his mouth. He felt like he should’ve been disgusted but since it was Kageyama, it wasn’t that bad.. “Could you tell me what you like again?” Kageyama spoke, breaking the kiss for a few seconds to catch their breaths. “You like this right?” He tugged at his hair. Hinata could only nod, a small moan slipping from his lips. “Pain?” Kageyama slammed his back against the lockers to press him against them. — Tanaka had been sitting their for about 15 minutes now, wondering when the boys were gonna make up and go home already. The sun was beginning to set, the darkness of the sky slowly taking over the different hues of blue, pink, orange and yellow. Only a glimmer of the sun was seen, disappearing behind the mountains. Shit. What if they were fighting? He had decided to check on them, using the key to slowly and as quietly unlock the door to get a peak inside. He wish he hadn’t. It had seemed they made up.. a lot. He quickly closed the door, leaving it unlocked and placing the key onto the ground right outside of the door step. It was time to just go home and abandon the plan. It was a success? Tanaka shivered, the image of Kageyama pressing against Hinata on the lockers closely, their mouths connected in a passionate kiss not leaving his head. He had told Yama and tsuki to go home, tsuki smiling in a knowing manner. They had both left together, Tanaka closing up the gym and taking his bag to leave also. A small smile was settled on his face, feeling like he just did what was best for them. Maybe they were meant to be together in more ways than volleyball... — “Not here dumbass.” Kageyama bit Hinata’s lip before pulling away. The smaller boy had grabbed his sides, telling him that he wanted more. Dumbass Hinata was always like that. Changing so suddenly. From tired to energetic, sad to happy, shy and embarrassed to braver and more confident. “Where then?” Hinata asked. “Just put your shit on and let’s go.” Kageyama said, breaking out the hold the smaller boy had on him. Hinata whined, letting go. “Not even 20 minutes since I confessed and you’re this clingy already? I should’ve reviewed the terms and conditions before confessing to you.” Kageyama said jokingly, rolling his eyes. “You’re just mad I got a one up on you and I finally beat you in something fair and square stupid.” “And what was that?” Kageyama asked, confused. “Confessing my feelings for you. Dumbass.” Hinata intimidates the taller boy’s scowl with a frown on his face. “S-shut the hell up!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is shit but i hope you enjoyed! was thinking about a part 2 with smut but nahhh.. unless-


End file.
